Rental Bliss: 1973 Dodge Challenger

Driving this gorgeous beast was like trying to juggle running chainsaws: All at once it's loud, terrifying, attention-grabbing, smells like gasoline, and is cool as hell.

On a previous visit to South Florida I was interested in renting something more interesting than a Focus or a Versa and came across the now-closed Classic Dream Rides. The owner Cameron would toss you a set of keys from his collection of muscle cars for not much more than you’d pay for that Focus. The cars were in great shape but weren’t “restored,” so they were full of character and stories and experiences that weren’t muted by modern concessions or extensive rebuilding.

The Challenger is Barney-the-Dinosaur-purple with a wide matte-black stripe up the middle of the hood, a black vinyl roof, and gleaming chrome bumpers. Beautifully proportioned, the car is nonetheless BIG. The doors seem like they’re six feet long and feel like they weigh as much as I do. The windows were already rolled down when I got in the car, and the glorious racket the glass made clattering around when the doors were slammed closed instantly reminded me that I was about to spend the day with a machine that had seen 40 years of different roads and drivers. The seats front and rear are interrupted by the center console, although they aren't exactly buckets. Everything is black leather and plastic, with chrome accents and lots of wood both real and fake throughout. The trunk is the size of a studio apartment, and the ample space carries through to the interior as there is plenty of head, leg, and elbow room. The seats are low to the floor so your legs stick out ahead of you, and although there is very little to brace yourself against the driving position is comfortable.

  

After a quick walkaround, Cameron twisted the key and the 340 four-barrel fired up immediately with a gutsy roar and settled into a high idle. Stabbing the throttle a minute later settled the big V8 down into a smooth growl.

 

Driving the big Dodge is certainly different from driving a modern car. The steering wheel is thin but has a huge diameter, and the car requires armloads of cranking to make any sharp turns. The throttle is responsive and the engine torquey, although there isn’t enough grunt to require a delicate foot. Precise inputs would be tricky; the lack of seat bolstering or a dead pedal, along with vestigial lap belts, mean the steering wheel and pedals double as braces to keep you in place.

At speed the steering exhibits a split personality: During small corrections such as cruising on the highway the car feels tall and a bit wobbly, but harder cornering causes the Challenger to take a firm set as it seems to want to tighten the radius on your behalf. Of all of the distinguishing characteristics of the car, this took the longest to get used to. Where a modern car will go where you tell it to, you don’t so much steer the Challenger as much as guide it - a bit like walking someone else’s dog.The wide, modern tires generated impressive grip and although I didn't corner hard enough to find out which end would let go first, the old car felt remarkably well-balanced. The brakes were a bit squeaky at low speed and lacked ABS but otherwise worked great. Once the car's steering and size became familiar, it was quite easy to drive both on the highway and through the crowded streets of Miami. The Challenger may be vintage but roads are still roads, even forty years later.

Cruising through Miami and the Florida Keys in this old Challenger was a blast. The quirks in the handling give the car an unmistakable feel, and the sounds and smells remind you that something is happening. Far from isolating the driver from the act of driving, cars like this one fully immerse you in it. The engine is always rumbling and burbling, even when you’re off the throttle. Get into the gas pedal and the nose lurches up as the smell of gasoline wafts into the cabin. Lean on the brakes and the front pitches down, lean on them harder and the tires scream and lock up while you neither slow down nor turn. The steering wheel communicates everything the front tires are up to, quivering and shaking over bumps and expansion joints, and doubles as a hand hold to keep you in the slick leather seats while the car leans out around corners. The Challenger is perfectly capable of navigating the city and seaside highways, but will do you no favors. Driving this car requires *attention*, but rewards with a feeling of activity, of covering ground, of participating in the act of beginning in one place and ending up in another.

I would highly recommend taking any available chance to spend time behind the wheel of a car like this to remind you how much you can really get out of such an involved experience.

Rental Bliss: 2015 Mercedes-Benz SL550

If one is presented with the opportunity to drive a brand new Mercedes-Benz SL550 (MSRP $108,050 before options) for a couple of hours, subject to the terms of a terrifying liability waiver, does one do so?

Yes.

What does one learn, after driving said SL550 on unfamiliar roads with the Waiver of Damocles hanging over one’s head the entire time?

My first impression of this thing is the expansive list of matters that an SL550 handles for you:

1. Locking and unlocking doors.
2. Darkness, not only in front of the car, but also below and within. 
3. Remembering how you like your seat and mirrors adjusted.
4. Convertibleness; this car is both a convertible and not a convertible, according to your whim.
5. Weather-appropriate clothing (on account of AIRSCARF).
6. Deciding what information you need to know about. 
7. Looking beside you while driving forward. 
8. Looking behind you while backing up. 
9. The fact that mirrors take up space.

The interior is beyond reproach in design, materials, and workmanship.

(Image credit: Autoblog)

Speaking as a motorist who still sees 2005 model year cars as “newish,” and electric windows as a cushy luxury, it’s a lot to take in.

Anyway, let’s move past that. How does it drive? Steering feel is numb, or even nonexistent. This is probably intended to be a feature, prominent on the list of things that are handled for you. But for your humble correspondent, it’s disconcerting.

Cornering at feisty-yet-waiver-compliant speeds on California back roads is absolutely rock solid. The thing is go kart flat, and yet the ride is butter-smooth. It’s feather-quiet, too. How does this 4,001-pound convertible with 18 inch wheels avoid any trace of body roll or tire noise? Quoting Mercedes,

The semi-active Adaptive Damping System continually adjusts to driving inputs and the road surface, and can respond at each wheel in just 10 milliseconds to sharpen handling while the ride stays silky. Comfort and Sport modes let you tailor handling response and ride firmness to your present driving style. Virtually all components of the 4-wheel multilink suspension are made of rigid, lightweight aluminum.

I’m usually skeptical of features that are described like this, in salesman-speak instead of engineer-speak. But this system works.

This obsessive computational optimization isn’t limited to suspension tuning, though. The car also makes value judgments about your passenger's weight!

Occupant Classification System (OCS) automatically turns the passenger's front air bag on or off and adjusts the air bag inflation rate based on the weight category determined by weight sensor readings from the passenger seat.

The engine is a 4.7-liter twin-turbo V8 (ahem, “biturbo” because Europe), rated for 449 hp and 516 lb-ft routed through a 7-speed hydraulic automatic transmission. Due to the whole waiver situation, hooning was limited to rolling 10-50 mph sprints, once in Comfort and once in Sport. In Comfort mode there is a distressingly-long turbo lag (one-Mississippi), followed by a quiet yet forceful whoosh, followed by a disapproving blowoff. In Sport mode the turbo lag is reduced, though still quite apparent, and the noise was a more pleasing purr. There’s absolutely no squat, wheel slip, roar, or really any other drama, which cuts both ways. The experience is less like a burnout and more like jumping to hyperspace.

The SL550 does just about everything well. It’s hard to imagine a more comfortable or stylish grand touring coupe. I wager it could out-track the fastest sports cars of 10 years ago and out-muscle the fastest muscle cars of 10 years ago. But I find myself struggling to understand why someone would ever buy one. If you’re in the market for an SL, price isn't an object, and an S-class would offer better comfort and storage on a road trip. Likewise, a modern supercar would track better and a Hellcat would drag better. The SL’s refinement and technology saps all the spectacle and danger out of mindless acceleration; flogging trashier, slower muscle cars is actually more fun.

The flaw in this thinking is the whole premise of evaluating a car like this on functional grounds. Cars like this are a “thing” for the same reason that trophy wives are a “thing.” You don’t buy an SL550 because you care about gearhead stuff like lap times and cubic feet of trunk room. You buy one for the bragging rights, for having a car that’s better than practically everyone else’s in practically every way. It demonstrates that you're inclined to scrutinize the "weight category" of the person at your side and factor that into important decisions. It demonstrates that you don’t have to handle things; things are handled for you. It’s a status symbol.

Would I ever buy one? Nope, at that price point I’d rather have a Tesla S for weekdays and a 4C or a Cayman for weekends. But I think functionally.

Did I mention that they made me sign a waiver?

Rental Bliss: 2010 Mitsubishi Galant FE

Unless your daily driver is a new car itself, most new cars will impress with their fit, finish, and comfort. The industry as a whole has done a remarkable job of upping the refinement ante, even in vehicles at the shallow end of the range. Unfortunately, nobody told the Galant.

The exterior styling of the 2010 Mistubishi is conservative, but inoffensive. The compound headlights suggest modern touch and by themselves exceed most expectations one would have of a low-rate rental. The flush mesh grille could even remind you of a Cadillac from the right angles. The rest of the body is pure vanilla, but there are no surprises there. The trunk capably handles two real-world suitcases and is as easy as any to load.

Getting into the Galant, one is instantly transported to the early 2000's. Hard, shiny, textured plastic is almost everywhere, with only massive seams between the molded pieces breaking up the proceedings. Getting comfortable in the car is admittedly easy, and the mirrors ably manage any potential blindspots. This particular example had been generously ArmorAll'd, which made for a steering wheel that was both slippery and sticky at the same time.

The gauges were easy to read, but sported the now-vintage orange backlighting that seemed to be the trademark of midsize Asian sedans of the 90s. The center console is attractive to look at, but rather difficult to actually use by current standards. The console is topped by an old LCD clock which dominates the display, leaving only a small band at the bottom for the sound system display. The buttons are large but feel cheap, and inputs were registered only intermittently. Not even the shift lever was immune to mediocrity, as the screw holding the lever in place came loose twice during the week and would have rendered the car unable to shift from park had a multitool not been nearby.

Driving the Galant smoothly was something of a challenge. Releasing the exceptionally touchy brakes resulted in an authoritative surge forward, and balancing the two required practice and focus. The steering was incredibly light making straight-line highway driving easy, but response to steering inputs was lethargic. The skinny tires gave up their grip without much protest, and the touchy brakes turned spongy without much prompting.

Piloting the car around for a week brought back years-old memories of rental clunkers. It would be impossible to recommend to anyone, and one would be ill-advised to choose it over something else for the same price. This is unfortunately very much a car you get stuck with.

Rental Bliss: 2011 Ford Escape Limited

Ford's littlest truck has come a long way since the Bronco II. Driving a black-on-black Limited offered a few pleasant surprises.

The truck looks very sharp, with tasteful chrome highlighting the otherwise all-black exterior. Good looking by itself, it's downright gorgeous compared to older Escapes. The bubble styling and exposed plastics are gone, replaced by straighter lines and painted surfaces. The bumpers themselves are an attractive painted plastic, but are unfortunately extremely soft and easy to scratch. The rear hatch has handles built into the bottom edge, but they're not in an ideal spot to close the hatch from and otherwise there is no good place to put your hand without leaving a print on your chrome or paint. Besides those few quirks, the exterior of the truck is rather well done.

Inside it becomes clear that Ford has taken the truck upscale. The doors close with a solid-sounding thud, and the leather seats with optional heaters are very comfortable and offer good lumbar and lateral support. Piano black surfaces are everywhere, accentuated by the color-selectable accent lighting in the footwells and cup holders. There are a few sharp edges, including one knuckle-skinning mold edge in the center console, but otherwise the various seams and panels fit well together. There are many cup holders and nooks for gadgets, including Ford's trademark burrito tray in the middle of the dash, although most of the nooks are large and shallow making it difficult to keep things in place.

There is ample headroom and getting comfortable is easy, although the lower dash hangs so low as to make reaching the pedals more difficult than it should be. Rear visibility is hampered by the absolutely massive rear seat headrests. Ford has done a good job muffling the road and wind noise and coupled with the light steering, spunky 3.0 liter V6 engine, and great exhaust sound it's easy to get going faster than intended. Slowing the truck down is no problem as the brakes are adequate, and there is surprisingly little body roll.

After spending a week with the truck, it was difficult to give it back. City driving was made pleasant by the punchy engine and comfortable interior, and long trips were effortless. $27,000 is a lot to ask for a small SUV, but Ford seems to have packed theirs full of appeal and it would be hard to come away disappointed.

Rental Bliss: 2007 Chevy HHR LS

Chevy says HHR stands for Heritage High Roof and is a throwback to the Nomad or car-based Suburban. I say there are two succinct ways of describing the HHR: "Chevy's clone of the PT Cruiser" or "a Cobalt wagon".

The HHR's exterior styling is all over the place. Here's what I think happened. Some committee or focus group came up with three distinct design themes: "clone a PT Cruiser," "resurrect the Nomad," and "Cobalt-sized Tahoe." Then an executive told a junior designer: give me something that's all three of those at once or you're fired. The result is a Frankenstein, and it's ugly.

The interior treatments are decent for an economy car. Most of the pieces are standard, utilitarian, inoffensive GM parts. There are a few nice touches that give the interior a touch of personality. Like the 09 Malibu it has a two-tone dash reminiscent of a Tri-Five Chevy. Also like the new Malibu, there are Chevy emblems embossed all over the place. The gauges use a handsome retro font and chromed needles. The doorpulls are large chrome circles, which is a little gimmicky but adds some character.

Interior ergonomics are good; the controls are laid out conveniently and visibility is excellent. The HHR uses an upright seating position as you'd find in a CUV, which adds substantial legroom and makes the rear seats servicable for adults. Chevy chose to finish the cargo area in hard plastic, which looks chintzier than carpet but is substantially more durable and easier to clean.

The HHR shares the Delta platform and 2.2L Ecotec I4 with the Cobalt, and drives much the same, which in this case is a compliment. Both cars' dynamics are tuned appropriately for their role as family cars. The suspension stays smooth on the highway or over bumps, yet is firm enough to feel poised on the highway and contain body roll within reasonable limits. The electric power steering box is on the numb side, but not offensively so. Acceleration was always adequate, and the car logged respectable fuel economy. It's not a sports car by any stretch of the imagination, but it never made me gnash my teeth either. Like the Cobalt, the HHR is available with a Sport package that improves power and handling, and an all-out Super Sport (SS) trim.

I am an unabashed fan of wagons. They combine the handling and economy of a sedan with the space and utility of a CUV. The HHR is no exception. Underneath the ugly exterior is an all-around good car with no serious faults. It even has some semblence of personality, a scarce commodity among modern value-oriented cars. It's a pity it's hideous. This thing could be a home run with an exterior refresh.

Rental Bliss: 2008 Dodge Magnum SXT

During a recent trip to Baltimore, I was able to spend time behind the wheel of a rented 2008 Dodge Magnum SXT. Attracted by its aggressive appearance and apparent utility, I had dubbed it one of my favorite cars long before actually getting any seat time.

One of the first things I noticed was the short greenhouse and wide pillars, although proper adjustment of the seat, steering wheel (with tilt and telescope), and mirrors solved any visibility problems and resulted in a rather cliche feeling of tank-like security.

The interior was nicer than expected, with tasteful chrome lines breaking up the dark grey plastic interior. The controls for the satellite radio and climate controls felt good and not cheap. I had no trouble figuring out how to work either although some of the passengers had some slight trouble. The dashboard was easy to read and was uneventful without being dull, and there was enough space for four people and a weekend's-worth of luggage for each. As gimmicky as it may sound to some, having the hinge for the liftgate so far forward is an effective way to enlarge the rear cargo opening and makes loading bulky cargo easier.

Once underway, I was pleasantly surprised by the grunt of the 3.5 liter V6. It was able to hustle the Magnum up to highway speed without delay, although the relationship between my right foot and the rear wheels wasn't quite as direct as I prefer. The Magnum is very stable at speed, and wind noise was less intrusive than I expected given the blunt front end. Looking in the rear-view mirror gave the impression of staring into a tunnel, and the Magnum's road manners did nothing to dispel the impression that this is a long vehicle; not particularly unwieldy, but definitely occupying a sizable chunk of road.

Shod with all-season tires there wasn't an abundance of grip, although I was never wanting for brakes and, with one exception, I was never in a position to even determine which end of the wagon would slide first. Once in the upper rev range the engine sounds like it means business, and the transmission shifts before the grunt becomes a buzz.

Driving in and around Baltimore, I found myself either on the highway or in the city. Following a rain shower one afternoon, I decided to switch off the Electronic Stability Program to see if it had a noticeable effect. Much to my chagrin, while turning left through an intersection, and while going rather slowly, the back end of the Magnum came around with surprising ease under power. It was easy to catch, and easy to prevent at the next turn, but I nonetheless switched the apparently-quite-effective ESP back on.

My overall impression of the Magnum was decidedly positive and I am discouraged by Dodge's decision to axe the wagon from their lineup, however that was not an opinion shared by those I was with. There were aesthetic remarks ranging from simply "ugly" to the more descriptive "looks like a hearse!" More significantly, there were usability complaints about the aforementioned greenhouse: One driver complained that not enough light came into the cabin, and two proclaimed they "couldn't see a thing" because of the pillars, long hood, and distant rear. I was able to solve those issues through careful adjustment of the cockpit, but your results may vary.

Rental Bliss: 2006 Saturn ION2

Last summer I had an ION for a business trip from Orange County to the Silicon Valley and back. It's a long trip that puts a car through a lot of scenarios: the worst of LA traffic hell, two mountain ranges, a vast expanse of flat highway, and twisty country roads around Gilroy (garlic capital of the world!).

The ION's exterior styling fits with Saturn's current design trends of understated geometric designs and vaguely European modernism. I think it's handsome for a small economy car, but that's subjective. The interior continues the geometric theme of circles, arcs, and ellipses. Mine was furnished with grey cloth, hard grey plastic, and silvery gray accents. It is thoroughly unexciting, but that's to be expected in a value-oriented economy car. The gauges are mounted in a center pod and have a classic-looking typeface. I expected the location to be distracting but after a few minutes it became second nature.

The ION seems to be tuned to drive like a larger car. The steering has a heavy feel and mushy center. It's easy to keep pointed on the highway but can be annoying in city driving. The suspension is incredibly loose for a car this size -- on the highway it's dreamboat smooth, but there is an immense amount of body lean on onramps or even 90 degree turns from a stop. Acceleration is good for a car in this class and I had no problem merging, passing, or climbing hills. The engine is very loud and coarse-sounding, especially at higher RPMs. I found myself limiting throttle just to avoid the noise, which would get grating in a daily commute. The ION automatic is rated at 24/32 mpg. I lost my mileage log but recall getting mileage consistent with those numbers.

The interior ergonomics are generally fair. It has a high door sill that's easy to trip on, and the cup holders are positioned such that a medium-sized fast food cup will block all the HVAC controls. The AC is surprisingly powerful, which is common for GM vehicles. Visibility is good.

There was a lot riding on the ION's 2003 debut. Saturn had been waiting a very long time for an updated compact car, and the ION was the first example of GM's Delta-body / Ecotec engine combo that would be the basis of small GM cars for years to come. The ION was unilaterally slammed as a horrible failure, which I think is unfair. It's the same size as a Cobalt or Corolla, and compared unfavorably in that class. But it was actually priced priced closer to an Aveo or ECHO, and looks good against those. I would also argue that the outgoing S-series was meeting consumer expectations better than the Cavalier was, so the incremental S-to-ION transition was easily upstaged by the earth-shaking Cavalier-to-Cobalt transition.

The ION was the last model designed around Saturn's original ethos of friendly, economical basic transportation. It lives up to that promise. It drives like a floaty midsize car and gets compact car mileage. It's not flashy or fun to drive, but that's not the point. It would be a fine choice as an everyday car, especially for someone who is downsizing from a larger vehicle or doesn't really care about cars. Conventional wisdom is that a Civic or Corolla does this better. That's probably right, but only by a thin margin. The ION's price advantage makes it a defensible choice.

Rental Bliss: 2008 Scion xB

For various reasons I rent a lot of cars. I'd like to extract some greater good from these experiences, so I'll be writing up quick-take reviews of the cars I rent.

Recently I needed to rent a Flexcar to drop off a car at the garage, and ended up with a 2008 Scion xB. This was my first experience with a Scion product, so I was eager to see what I thought of the brand. More on that shortly.

The xB is essentially a brick on wheels. It is tall for its size, but rides low on small tires. The interior is styled in a sport compact tuner aesthetic. The gauges are arranged in a pod of four circles resembling a pillar gauge pod, positioned in the center of the dash. Most of the visible paneling is black plastic molded to resemble carbon fiber. The contours are geometric, giving the whole thing a goth/industrial feel. I don't care for it. Even if I did, I'd be leery of styling this distinctive, since it rarely wears well over a car's entire 10+ year lifetime. Look at the interior of any 10+ year old Buick to see what I mean.

Given the mundane FWD chassis, tiny wheels, and tall body, my handling expectations were low and I was not surprised. There is a lot of body lean in corners, and the tires start to chirp very quickly. The steering has a heavy on-center feel reminiscent of a truck or van. Acceleration is adequate in leisurely driving. I didn't have an opportunity to flog it. The engine is loud and appliance-like, rather like a cordless power drill. Overall the driving experience is unremarkable but perfectly adequate for everyday use.

The interior ergonomics are pretty good. The xB's upright seating position makes effective use of space and makes it roomier than it would be otherwise. There is a convenient iPod port in the center console, and a phone-sized nook next to the steering column. There's also a shallow shelf above the glove box. I'm not sure what it's intended for, but my fiance and I put a bag of donuts there, so we called it a "donut shelf." As expected the rear cargo area is huge, and the large hatch door should make loading and unloading convenient. Visibility is excellent.

The xB would be a decent commuter. It is an economical alternative to a CUV or small SUV due to its cargo space and high seating position. It could work as a family's only car. It is not a performance vehicle in the slightest. The car has a strong tuner/Emo/industrial vibe to it, which is a love-it-or-hate-it proposition. I hate it. But there are surely people who love it.

Now, back to my take on Scion. Let's see here. We have a mundane chassis, mundane engine, mundane suspension, and mundane steering feel, gussied up as a performance vehicle with polarizing exterior styling, boy-racer interior styling, and a loud exhaust. The whole package is targeted at adolescents, but has broader appeal because at its heart it's a practical vehicle.

I sense something. A presence I have not felt since...

Ah yes, Pontiac circa the 1990s. Look how well that worked out. Maybe the xB will succeed where the Trans Sport failed. Good luck, Scion.